I was rereading a post I wrote at the start of 2008 – Living Green past and future – where I outlined the things I’d accomplished in 2007 toward living a greener lifestyle and then added more eco-friendly things I hoped to accomplish in 2008. This year I’m going to do the same thing and invite you to post about your green goals for the upcoming year too. If you write a post and link back to this one, leave me a comment with the URL and I’ll add you to a list at the bottom of this post.
First, here were my goals for 2008 and my comments on how I did beside them in italics:
Green goals for 2008:
Grow a bigger garden – Did it! I grew tomatoes, basil, green beans, carrots, strawberries, zucchini, and yellow squash.
Possibly join a CSA to eat more locally and shop at the farmerâ€™s market – Did not join a CSA but I did learn more about them and picked up a friend’s CSA share one week (when she was out of town). And I did some of my shopping at the farmers’ market.
Buy some cloth diapers that can stand up to Julianâ€™s nighttime pees and stop using disposables (7th Generation) at night (We cloth diaper during the day.) – Yes and no. We stopped using 7th Generation dipes at night and instead stuff a Fuzzibunz diaper with a prefold and a gDiapers insert (which are biodegradable). Not the perfect solution, but better than where we were at.
Learn how to can foods –YES! And here’s proof. I canned three types of jam/jelly, spaghetti sauce and pear sauce in 2008.
Â Grow a bigger garden still! Although my yard is small, that is not the problem. The problem is that we have three large trees in our backyard that block out most of the sunlight. I’ve been trying to figure out if there are some places in my front yard that get good sun where I might plant some veggies, but we have a lot of trees there too. The only places in the front yard that I can think of that aren’t shaded are right by the sidewalk. We don’t have a ton of foot traffic on our street, but I’m not sure I want to dig up the yard to plant veggies when we want to sell the house in the next year or two. Hmmm. I think I might have to do some container gardening in addition to the small garden I already have.
Join a vegetable seed co-op.
Can more than last year.
Dehydrate more than last year.
Bake my own bread more regularly.
Continue to move away from the use of plastic and be mindful of plastic packaging.
Learn how to sew using my mom’s old sewing machine.
Learn more about ownership and care of backyard chickens (as our chicken crusade plods on)
And, of course, continue with all of the other things I’m already doing.
Now it’s your turn. This isn’t exactly your typical “Green Challenge,” but it is kind of similar. Write a post telling me your green goals for 2009, leave me your link and I’ll add it to the list below. (If you link back to this one, that’d be great too.) Or just leave me a comment telling me what your goals are. I’d love some more ideas! 🙂
As I found myself watching and live Tweeting the 20/20 episode on Extreme Motherhood on ABC Friday night, I felt disappointed that once again mainstream media had let me down. It didn’t come as a complete surprise, but I really had hoped for better from them.
The show, for those of you who were occupying your time with better things (wise choice), consisted of segments on Orgasmic Birth, fake babies – women who buy Reborn dolls and treat them very much like real babies (um, yes, it was more than a little freaky), long-term (extended) breastfeeding – including a mention of 2 1/2 yr old twins still nursing (uh, what’s extreme about that?) as well as a few older children, serial surrogates, and home birth. The majority of the time seemed to be spent on the fake babies and the serial surrogates, with lesser amounts devoted to the rest. The least amount of time (and what I felt should have received the most) went to home birth.
The home birth segment had very brief interviews with Ricki Lake and Abbie Epstein (producers of Business of Being Born) and Laura Shanley (author of Unassisted Childbirth). There were no interviews with any midwives. There was no talk of the training midwives go through or the preparation that women who choose unassisted birth generally undertake. It all seemed very much focused on fear rather than offering up real information. The AMA says blah, blah, blah – nothing we haven’t heard before.
One of my main issues with the show was that it was not objective journalism at all. The correspondents spewed a lot of shock value comments instead of asking intelligent, thought-provoking questions. Maybe I’m naive to expect better from them.
Overall, I have to say I’m sorry I wasted my time watching it. I felt it was very exploitative. 20/20 gets a big ol’ Twitter Fail Whale from me. I don’t feel the show gave much, if any, useful information, except maybe some women will seek out Business of Being Born or Orgasmic Birth (which has a lot more to it than the name implies) after watching 20/20.
When my daughter was born four and a half years ago, I had no plan for how long I would breastfeed her, I just knew that I would start off breastfeeding and then go with the flow. It so happens that in our case going with the flow meant that one month shy of her fourth birthday she was still nursing (albeit only once a day), and as I would soon discover, we weren’t the only ones on this path.
I didn’t set out to nurse a preschooler, but somehow along the way, my sweet little baby grew from an infant to a toddler and eventually blossomed into a preschooler in what now seems like the blink of an eye. I am confident this won’t go on forever and when I look back on this time when she’s 10 or 20 or 30, and I look at the young woman she’s become, I am hopeful that I will feel good about the choices I made and have no regrets.
When I wrote that post I was feeling rather isolated and wondered if there were others who’d chosen (either deliberately or unintentionally) to take the long-term (a preferred alternative term to “extended”) breastfeeding route. I soon got my answer. I received 62 comments on that post. Amazingly none of them were negative and several came from women saying that they too nursed an older child and many thanked me for talking about it openly.
Lisa from The Joy of Six said, “I’m so glad you posted this. I’ve nursed mine until they stopped which has been anywhere from 14 mo to 4. Thanks for letting all those ‘closet nursing’ mommies know they aren’t alone.”
Melissa at Through My Window said: “The whole time I was nursing both of my girls past the age of 4 I always wished that I could talk about it and that more moms were willing to admit that they were nursing for a long time too. My girls only nursed at nap-time and bedtime as they became older which meant only 1-2 times/day. Of course, they are weaned now, but I have no regrets and I would absolutely nurse future children as long.”
Liesl from Come, Mommy, who was tandem nursing both her 4 1/2 year old and baby at the time, said:
Got a 4.5 year-old-nursling over here! Sometimes it is a lot to nurse two, but on the other hand, it’s one of the few times Liam will settle down for a bit. Then after he nurses, he’ll sit around and chat, and that’s when I often find out the things on his mind. And I think it’s eased his transition to brotherhood as well. Nursing a 4 year old is a very different thing than nursing a baby, and it is most definitely not for everyone, but overall I’m glad I stayed with it.
Nina (no blog listed) said:
I think it is important for those who think breast feeding a preschooler is *bad* that in many, many parts of the world this is quite normal. Only with the invasion of TVs and computers (whereby the views of more advanced countries are shown) have many moms stopped breastfeeding after about 1 year, they seem to think that the entire world is like that.
My mother was a midwife before she married my father and she very, very strongly rec. breast feeding until the child was ready to wean on his/her own and this was back in the 50’s!
Heather at A Mama’s Blog shared with me a story from her former employer:
My old boss told me an interesting story a few years ago. He was in his 60’s at the time, and grew up in the country. He said when he went to school at lunch time the “little” boys about ages 6 and 7 would go home to nurse. There wasn’t a lot of food at that time, and the mothers also used it as a form of birth control.
I thought that was pretty interesting that just in the 1940s, nursing a 6 and 7 year old was perfectly acceptable. Too bad we have come so far in the other direction in the last 60 years.
I also took an informal poll (if you will) on Twitter to see if others are nursing or have nursed children ages 3 and up. I was rather surprised by the number of replies I received.
Anaed, who blogs at Walking Barefoot on the Earth, breastfed her daughter until her 4th birthday and says that while it wasn’t always easy, the thing she enjoyed about nursing her until she was 4 was that she still had that “connection.”
ErinEly owner of Ely Organics nursed both of her children, a daughter and a son, in the early 1990s for 4.2 years.
ZRecsMom of the zrecs network is practicing child-led weaning and said her 4 1/2 year old daughter is “slooooowly weaning. Down to one right before bed and it lasts about four seconds total. Sometimes, not at all.”
Sillysgood breastfed her daughter until just after her third birthday.
Savvydoula who blogs at Savvy Doula said, “My son nursed until age 3, my daughter til age 4, and both tandem’d for 10 months.”
Tomorrow evening, Jan. 2, barring any late-breaking big news stories, ABC’s 20/20 is set to air an episode featuring segments on long-term (extended) breastfeeding, as well as home birth (both with and without midwives), serial surrogates (women that have numerous babies for other women), “fake babies” (life-like dolls), and orgasmic birth. I believe the title for the show is “Extreme Mothering.” You can see a preview of the breastfeeding segment, which included an interview with the mother of a 6-year-old boy who still nurses, as well as an interview with the boy, on ABC News.
Although I put together a decent little list of mothers and children who are long-term breast-feeders (and that’s without searching on the ‘net for other bloggers or celebrities – yes, there are some), there will, undoubtedly, still be those who think it is weird, gross, damaging, or just plain wrong. If you find yourself in that camp, you might want to consider the following.
The American Academy of Pediatrics says, “Pediatricians and parents should be aware that exclusive breastfeeding is sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months of lifeâ€¡ and provides continuing protection against diarrhea and respiratory tract infection. Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child.” AAP goes on to say, “There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.” (AAP 2005)
The World Health Organization recommends “infants should be exclusively breastfed(1) for the first six months of life to achieve optimal growth, development and health(2). Thereafter, to meet their evolving nutritional requirements, infants should receive nutritionally adequate and safe complementary foods while breastfeeding continues for up to two years of age or beyond.“
The American Academy of Family Physicians recommends that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that “Breastfeeding beyond the first year offers considerable benefits to both mother and child, and should continue as long as mutually desired.” They also note that “If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned.” (AAFP 2001)
Additionally, there are more position statements from various organizations linked up on KellyMom
But wait, there’s more. According to Summer Minor in her post Is 4 too old to be breastfed?,”Biologically, 4 years is still in the normal range for humans.”
The book Breastfeeding: Biocultural Perspectives contains a wonderful section called “A Time to Wean: The Hominid Blueprint for a Natural Age of Weaning in Modern Human Populations.” by Katherine A. Dettwyler, Ph.D. Dr. Dettwyler is an award winning anthropologist, professor, and breastfed her daughter until she was 4 years old. In the section Dettwyler compares various primates, including humans, to find what the biological norm would be for humans. She found that the natural age for modern humans based on our size, development, and life span is between 2.5 years and 7 years. A child still nursing at 4 years old is normal, natural, and OK.
If you find yourself long-term nursing your child, there’s a good chance that at some point you will run into criticism from others. La Leche League International has some good advice for handling criticism from family, friends or even complete strangers.
If you’re facing criticism, remember that they may simply be uninformed about the benefits of extended breastfeeding or perhaps they feel guilt about their own parenting choices. Consider responding to unwelcome comments by:
Ignoring: walking away or changing the subject.
Informing: sharing books, articles, or a medical professional’s thoughts on extended nursing.
Using Humor: making a joke about the situation or yourself, not the other person.
Acknowledging: recognizing the person’s viewpoint and asking further questions without agreeing or disagreeing
Empathizing: being empathetic to demonstrate that you understand the other person’s feeling and meaning (Vakiener 1999).
Dr. William Sears has some advice about handling the criticism as well. Here are some things he suggests you keep in mind:
Speaking of KellyMom, which is a wonderful resource for all things breastfeeding, if you are the mother of a long-term nurser and are looking for support, check out their forums. There’s a forum for nursing children ages 3 and up. There are also forums for the toddler years – ages 12-24 months and ages 24-36 months.
While I’m sure some of my relatives thought my daughter would nurse “forever,” I can assure you she did not. Her last nursing was on Oct. 3, 2008, at age 4 years, 3 months and 11 days. It was mostly child-led, although I did nudge her a bit at the end. I felt that she was ready, but needed a little extra push (and I knew I was ready). It was bittersweet, but I think it went quite smoothly. I hope to write about the experience one day soon before I forget it. It is yet to be seen what my son will decide to do. As for now, he’s still going strong nursing at 25 months.
It is my hope that as a result of segments like the one on 20/20 and the fact that more women are feeling comfortable speaking out about long-term nursing (as evidenced by all of the comments and Tweets I received), that others will not feel like they need to be “closet nursers” nor feel pressured by family, friends or society in general to wean before they feel it is right for them and their child. Let’s trust our judgment to do what’s right for our child and trust the judgment of other moms to do what’s right for their child too.
Cross-posted on BlogHer. I’d love it if you’d share your comments there too! 🙂