Police called on Breastfeeding Mom in Michigan Target Store


Photo credit: The Mothers Milk Marketing Board

It’s been a while since I’ve heard a report of a woman being harassed about breastfeeding in public or told it’s illegal and I hoped that meant that the people of the world were wising up, that breastfeeding women and their children were being treated with respect, and that people were more aware of the rights of breastfeeding women and their children. But then this evening a Facebook friend told me about an incident at a Harper Woods, Mich. Target where Mary Martinez and her husband Jose were told nursing in public is illegal, were asked to leave the store and even had the police called on them. Mary Martinez, a mother of three, was nursing her 4-week-old baby in the electronics aisle at the time.

The couple was escorted out of the store. “Forcing me out of the store. Two security guards, the manager or team leader, two officers, they just made a spectacle and a scene. I feel like I can’t go to that specific Target anymore,” Mary Martinez said.

Fox 2 contacted Target’s corporate headquarters and were told they allow mothers to breast-feed in their stores. But, “This specific situation escalated to a point where we were concerned for the safety of our guests, so law enforcement was called. We regret the incident in our store and will continue to provide a shopping environment that respects the needs of all guests, including nursing mothers.”

I call shenanigans. I have a feeling their definition of “escalated” is that the mother and father, a Detroit police officer himself, knew their rights – that breastfeeding in public is NOT illegal – and refused to leave.

This isn’t the first time a mother has been told she couldn’t breastfeed at a Target store. Back in 2006, The Lactivist reported that a Minneapolis Target employee told a woman that she couldn’t breastfeed in a fitting room and told her to use the bathroom instead. When the woman later called Target’s national hotline she was told “corporate policy was that nursing mothers were welcome in Target stores.” As such, Target has responded with a public apology and the following statement:

“Target has a long-standing practice that supports breastfeeding in our stores. We apologize for any inconvenience the guest experienced and will take this opportunity to reaffirm this commitment with our team members,” company representative Kristi Arndt said.

“For guests in our stores, we support the use of fitting rooms for women who wish to breastfeed their babies, even if others are waiting to use the fitting rooms. In addition, guests who choose to breastfeed discreetly in more public areas of the store are welcome to do so without being made to feel uncomfortable.”

If this is corporate policy that Target “supports breastfeeding in our stores,” I think every employee needs to be informed during his/her orientation of breastfeeding mothers’ and children’s rights. C’mon Target, educate your employees and if an incident like this does happen, apologize like you did in the past. Don’t make excuses for forcing a breastfeeding mom out of your store. It’s not cool.

Take Action

If you’d like to share your thoughts about this incident with Target, you may contact them at the following address:

Target Corporation
1000 Nicollet Mall
Minneapolis, MN  55403

You may also call Guest Relations at (800) 440-0680 (7a.m. to 6p.m. CT, Monday through Friday) or email guest.relations@target.com

Edited to add: Thanks to PhDinParenting for this excellent information:

This woman, and any woman, that experiences this type of harassment should report it to FirstRight. They maintain an inventory of such harassment cases and can also help mothers to figure out the best course of action (for example, nurse-ins can be good tools but are not always the best first step).

Here is the link to FirstRight:
http://www.firstright.org/reportdiscrimination

And thank you to Angela at Breastfeeding 1-2-3 who pointed out:

This incident highlights exactly why Michigan mothers are needed to testify tomorrow, December 2, 2009, in favor of the pending Michigan breastfeeding legislation. For details, see:

http://www.blisstree.com/breastfeeding123/michigan-moms-needed-to-testify/

Related post: Download your own license to breastfeed and learn about the breastfeeding laws where you live.

UPDATE 12/3/09: A follow-up post with a statement from Mary Martinez has been posted here.

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66 thoughts on “Police called on Breastfeeding Mom in Michigan Target Store”

  1. I just loved how on the news website where the original article is published the first comment suggests that she, “Take the 5 minutes and go to the restroom….stop trying to get a lawsuit.” I was SO happy to see response after response telling that commenter exactly what’s up with nursing in the bathroom.
    Such a shame though. I was going to be doing a lot of my holiday shopping online at Target. Not now.

  2. It didn’t take long for the idiotic contingent of the childfree made an appearance. They never fail to make me laugh with their faux puritanism.

  3. Shenanigans is right. I personally know Mary and she’s not a threat to anyone in any circumstance. Neither is Jose. I’m glad she called the news and I think that what happened to her is horrendous.

  4. Target’s policy strikes me as very wishy-washy. The words “more public” and “discreetly” make it pretty clear that they don’t support breastfeeding, they merely tolerate it. “We support the use of fitting rooms” means “Hide if you want to participate in this shameful practice. Oh, and while you’re at it, please buy our formula and bottles!”
    (Ooops, I think my bitterness is showing…) 🙂

  5. That is ridiculous. I can’t believe that type of thing still happens. This woman, and any woman, that experiences this type of harassment should report it to FirstRight. They maintain an inventory of such harassment cases and can also help mothers to figure out the best course of action (for example, nurse-ins can be good tools but are not always the best first step).

    Here is the link to FirstRight:
    http://www.firstright.org/reportdiscrimination

  6. Funny that they were “concerned for the safety of their guests.” Was the baby threatening to punch out the other customers? 😉

    Anyway.

    For next time this occurs: What would you recommend a breastfeeding mom do if she’s asked to leave by Target (or other) store management? Call corporate right there?

  7. Sonja – I agree. It sounds much more like they tolerate breastfeeding, but don’t really support it. That sucks. I like Target otherwise. Sigh.

    Stephanie – I’m not sure what the best course of action is in the moment. I am fortunate in that I’ve never experienced discrimination like that in my 5+ yrs of breastfeeding. Calling corporate sounds like a good idea or if you leave peacefully, calling corporate after the fact to report it and and then also reporting it to FirstRight
    http://www.firstright.org/reportdiscrimination as Annie from PhDinParenting suggested. It sucks that we have to have a plan of action in case something like this happens.

  8. Stephanie – I wanted to add that @commonreaders emailed Target re: her thoughts on the latest incident and part of the reply she received from Target was:
    “At Target, we work hard to provide you with an enjoyable shopping experience. If you ever have concerns during your visit, please visit the Guest Service Desk and ask to speak to the Guest Service Team Leader. They’ll make every attempt to resolve the issue while you’re in the store.”

    So I guess the proper response is to go to the Guest Service Desk first.

  9. What nobody mentioned was whether or not she was exposed. I know die-hard breastfeeders think we shouldn’t have a problem with their boobs hanging out becuase it is “natural” but it isn’t OK to force someone to your morals. Exposed breasts are illegal. And I think it is unfair to force my boys to see a breast when they are working hard to keep themselves from seeing anyone but their wife.
    I am a die-hard nursing advocate myself. I have breast fed 7 children and in public and I would NEVER let someone tell me I can’t breastfeed in public. But NOONE ever saw my breast. I respected other people as well as demanding respect myself. And concidering other people is respectful.

    I am guessing them reason they called the police was becuase the couple was probably very angry and refusing to back down. I am not at all saying Target had a right to stop a mom from breastfeeding in the store, just to have her not expose herself. Calling the police was crazy unless they were getting loud and things were escalating. There is no mention if that were the case.

  10. Wow, that is disturbing. Companies need to inform their employees that breastfeeding in public is legal, so this doesn’t happen.

    I think a Breast In is in order. I only wish I had a breastfeeding baby to nurse,so I could join in!

  11. why do women want to do this in public?
    Most people find it repulsive.
    I however think they have a right to do it.
    Just as I have a right to photo the woman in the act and publish those pictures on the web.
    I have done so in the past and will do so in the future.

  12. Did you see that in the Senate Healthcare Bill is an amendment that requires all employers to give breastfeeding mothers not only an adequate, non-bathroom, private place to breastfeed but also paid time to do it?

    @ Jeff: I don’t necessarily want to watch you stuff a huge hotdog into your face in two bites in public either, so I turn my head and don’t look. We’re talking about feeding human beings. If you don’t like it, don’t look.

  13. This is so, so disappointing. I can’t believe that law enforcement was called, that is totally ridiculous.

    In every one of these cases, the response seems to be more or less the same. The company affirms that it welcomes nursing mothers, apologizes, and promises to inform its employees. I really, really wish that they would inform their employees BEFORE it gets to this point.

  14. Thank you so much for posting about this important issue. There is a lot of “lip service” — bad pun intended, haha — being given to supporting breastfeeding and ultimately more and more consumers are seeing through such double speak. In my eyes, it doesn’t help that Target mails formula coupons to wedding registrants and consumers purchasing any baby goods. As long as Target is forming alliances with WHO-Code violators, they are clearly not supporting mothers to make informed feeding decisions and to carry out their personal breastfeeding goals.

  15. @Qtpies7 Exposed breasts are actually not “illegal”.

    In fact, many states draw explicitly state that breastfeeding in public is not covered under indecency laws and some states even theoretically protect the right of a woman to be bare chested if men are also allowed to be bare chested there. Not that, y’know, I want to be. I’d much prefer people NOT see my breasts, thankyouverymuch. My point is just that even if some tiny bit of breast is exposed for a second, that doesn’t mean it is illegal. In many states it is explicitly not illegal. In states that have no such legislation, that does not mean it is *illegal*–just that it is a matter of court interpretation at this time.

    As to pushing your morals on someone, you really aren’t doing that if you are casually doing something that is not only natural, but very, very, *normal* and *legal* without drawing attention to yourself.

    Now, if she was waving her breasts around (which I seriously doubt) and screaming, “You must watch me breastfeed!” (which I also doubt), that might constitute forcing your worldview on others. Otherwise, Target is a big store…

  16. @Jeff

    I don’t actually *want* to feed my baby in public. I just like to feed my baby when he is, y’know…hungry. Sometimes that happens in public.

    I doubt you’d catch much on film unless you started physically invading my space. In which case, most of my close friends are lawyers at large firms with huge pro bono budgets. I’m sure they’d love the case.

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  18. I’m sorry, but HOW could this possibly be a safety issue? This is so completely ridiculous, & I really feel for this mom for having to go through such humility. There really is a double standard in this country–we all have to have “Breast is Best” shoved down our throats, with no follow-up support in public OR in private. I agree with some PPs that Target and other retail establishments should really be proactive about educating their employees so that it does not have to reach this level of absurdity. It should be part of training for all new employees–it’s a protected right in most states. I live in Illinois, and the law states that breastfeeding is NOT indecent exposure, even if my nipple is exposed (not that mine would be, personally). These laws exist only because nursing mothers are so frequently and wrongly harassed for doing something that is their right, and the right of their babies. The level of ignorance in this country astounds me. We’re supposed to be the “Land of the Free”, but God forbid we let other people SEE us being free, because then we’re somehow intruding on their constitutional rights? Hardly. Get your laws straight. Until then, stop causing riots over a woman just trying to parent her child the way she knows best.

  19. “Discreetly.” Of course. Because babies are always cooperative and don’t suddenly pull off and move your shirt away at the same time. Being discreet is easy, right?

    I’m all for not showing anything I don’t have to when I breastfeed my baby, but it’s not entirely up to me. She has too cooperate.

    And showing a little breast while breastfeeding isn’t immoral. If you’re worried about morals, do consider that breastfeeding can be considered feeding God’s creation in the way God intended. At least if you believe in God, of course. Shouldn’t be offensive in the least.

  20. I just posted a blog post wondering aloud whether this is the last socially-acceptable form of discrimination in America. (It’s clicky on my name)

    I love your post. The bottom line is, the initial contact asking her to stop nursing was ILLEGAL. If someone told me I wasn’t allowed to shop in Target because I was a woman, you better believe I’d be a tad upset about it. If someone said we had to leave Target because my husband is Hispanic – yep – I’d be upset. So why wouldn’t a nursing mother be EQUALLY upset. It is EQUALLY discriminatory.

  21. The people who have a problem with public breastfeeding are probably all people who hungrily watched the Victoria’s Secret fashion show on TV last night (and I use the term “fashion” loosely.)

    Seriously, if the biggest problem in your life is that a woman had the nerve to feed her baby in front of you in a giant box store and you couldn’t just walk to another aisle, consider yourself lucky. I can think of a dozen more important issues to complain about.

  22. Some thoughts

    ~In the US, we’re weird about public exposure. Case in point, ever been to a European beach, Carribbean beach, or public restroom there? We’re probably not going to change this response to what many people consider nudity for many generations. I would let it go.

    ~I think there’s probably more to the story. I think somewhere between corporate and the “victims” there is the truth. Right now, though, no one’s giving the entire story. It may never be told truthfully.

    ~The holidays mean many seasonal employees that aren’t necessarily the cream of the crop, but are required to do the work of this heavy consumer holiday. Managers are spread thinner and perhaps someone took it upon oneself to take on the nursing mom with their own agenda. Hard to control that many people, micromanaging is impossible. I had 65 retail employees when I owned a food business. It’s difficult at best to keep them within your message and guidelines.

    I wouldn’t boycott Target or stage protests. These things happen daily. This one is just getting attention.

    What’s the solution? Model good breastfeeding etiquette.

    You
    uldn’t flash someone if you weren’t nursing, why would you when you are? Just out of respect. I have a cousin who as we’re eating pulls her shirt out and exposes herself to the entire table. I finally had to tell her that, hey, I’m fully supportive, but my 12 year old boy isn’t ready to process that.

    Yes, accidents happen. I remember my son tugging on my shirt, kicking off a light blanket or what have you. That happens. We also get completely comfortable with using our breasts for what they’re intended, are usually so tired just being a mom, that we literally let it all hang out.

    One good thing might come from this–maybe Target will give nursers comfy chairs to sit on somewhere near the changing tables. I remember those days of trying to nurse in a bathroom stall or in a dressing room. Not easy.

    Don’t get angry about this situation or all that is seen is the anger and not your message. (Not directed at you Amy)

  23. What really saddens me is that breastfeeding mothers have to worry about getting confronted like this. IT’S RIDICULOUS! Breasts are there to nurse babies. It is the most natural thing in the entire animal world yet our society thinks it is so “icky” and “wrong”.

    It’s wrong for those who are skeeved out by it to cause a confrontation with the mother. It’s rude and people should really mind their own business. THERE I said it.

  24. And FYI if you watch the video on the main article. Mary is feeding the baby the entire time. NOT ONE stitch of skin is shown at all. Actually I bet 90% of people didn’t even realize she was Breastfeeding!

  25. @lilbet

    While I would agree that this is not necessarily boycott-worthy IMO, there was a serious breakdown that goes beyond “seasonal employees”. For the police to be called, for them to be escorted from the store, that means that there was a chain of command involved, so to speak. If it had been just an employee saying, “You can’t do this here,” then I would buy that excuse.

    Nothing in this story suggests to me that the truth isn’t very close to what the couple said. Enough mothers have been harassed for nursing in public. And I have yet to hear about a single case of a mom just waving her breasts around for the sheer joy of public exhibitionism.

    As far as changing attitudes, I have to disagree. There are plenty of attitudes people said would never change, which have changed to recognize the rights of people everywhere. And the idea that we aren’t going to change it so just calm down? I’m just not going along with that. If an attitude violates basic human rights, I’m not going to just accept that it is part of our culture.

    Yes, part of the issue is the way we view the female body. However, there are countries where people are even more uptight about the female body and yet they are accepting and even encouraging of breastfeeding.

    And in the Victorian era, arguably the most uptight era in our entire uptight, Puritanical history…women used to nurse their babies in public. There are lovely paintings of this, with way more than I usually show.

    As to the special nursing chairs “near the changing tables”–maybe you have a special changing room in your Target, but everywhere I’ve been, that is the bathroom. Ick. I’m going to assume you mean something else?

    And finally, and I’m going to go off on a tangent here and this is not necessarily addressed at you but what bugs me the most every time there is a conversation about public nursing is that this new mom. This new, vulnerable, aching mom, this mom who is trying to balance all of these new responsibilities and challenges (even if this is not her first baby), this mom who probably needed at least an hour just to get out of the house…is expected to leave whatever social situation she is in. Separate from her shopping, her meal, her family (or bring them along with her, I guess), and her friends…and be isolated for however long the baby needs to eat (which for some newborns can be 30 minutes or more).

    And where is the compassion from society for individual circumstances? Just as I never assume anything about a bottle feeding mom, I never assume anything about a breastfeeding mom. Maybe that bottle feeding mom adopted her baby. Maybe she has to take a medication that won’t allow her to nurse. Maybe she just doesn’t want to. And why is it any of my business?

    And maybe, as in my case, that breastfeeding mom has a deployed husband. Maybe her baby has a heart condition that requires she keep her calm. And maybe that baby is colicky and needs to be latched at the first sign of fussing. Maybe she can’t feed her baby in a car in the August Texas heat. And why should she have to?

    I feel like as a society we’ve reached the point where we accept women operating outside of the home–as long as they aren’t new mothers. And then we expect them to hide away and do their motherly things away from our view. Why?

  26. I used to be sad that M wouldn’t nurse in public (he demanded more quiet and my attention). I wanted to be one of the women making it a normal occurrence. What is sadder though, is that I even had to think like that because of things like this. I shouldn’t HAVE to think like an advocate about feeding my son the way I was designed to. Such a shame! I am such a huge Target fan, so this is really heart wrenching for me. Hope they get their act together!!

  27. As a personal friend of Mary’s, I would like to thank you so much for this wonderful post. It’s a shame that people still have a problem with a woman breastfeeding her child, yet have no problem with scantily clad women plastered all over t.v, billboards, magazines, etc. It’s a shame really.

  28. Ironically, Target was one of my favorite places to nurse my older son when he was a baby. He was born in November and just after Christmas they set up the summer patio furniture displays. We used to sit on a rocking bench under a gazebo and nurse as long as we needed to. It was right near the entrance to the employee break room and we were passed by countless employees who never said a thing – the occasional employee would even smile at us.

    Target should fire the employees involved in this incident. Their “apology” is insulting and clearly not supportive of nursing mothers. Mothers probably make up the largest demographic of Target shoppers and it is not only bad service but bad economics to alienate their most valuable “guests”.

  29. Qtpies, there are 2 things wrong with your assessment.

    1 – they showed the mom breastfeeding on camera and she was completely unexposed. I doubt that if she felt free enough to let it hang out in public that she would suddenly cover up for the camera.
    2 – Breastfeeding is exempt from the indecent exposure laws in Michigan. Couple that with the fact that she wasn’t forcing people to watch her nurse and your argument doesn’t hold water.

    I had a similar incident at a health clinic (yes, you read that correctly) when I lived in Germany. I was nursing my 2nd daughter in an alcove away from the main waiting room, had a blanket draped on my and was pretty covered up. A nurse (yes, you read that correctly, too) asked me if I wouldn’t rather go into an exam room to nurse. As I was sitting on a couch and I was comfy, I politely declined.

    About 10 minutes later she returned and was more forceful about wanting me to go into an exam room, saying that others were getting uncomfortable with me nursing right there. As a note, I could only be seen by people who were walking by and who chose to look into that alcove. I asked her who was uncomfortable – other patients or her – and she got huffy with me.

    It being a military clinic, I went to the clinic commander and told him about the incident and informed him that breastfeeding is legal in all government buildings. He agreed and said that the nurse was in the wrong.

    A few weeks later I had an appointment with the head nurse at the clinic and the same nurse who had confronted me happened to be in the room. As soon as I walked in, she said in a loud voice, “Oh, I can’t be in here with her!” I guess she was the one who was uncomfortable with it.

    My point – it only takes one idiot who thinks that you shouldn’t nurse in public to make a big scene about it. If you ask me, the security guard who stopped Mrs. Martinez is the one with the problem and the one who made the scene.

  30. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. It’s been very interesting to read and I want to reply back to several of you, but just haven’t had the time (between being sick with strep throat and having family in town visiting).

    I hope to write a follow-up post later today to address some of the things brought up here and to share with you Mary Martinez’s side of the story. (We’ve emailed a bit.) And to share what Target had to say, which I found quite disappointing.

  31. Excuse me, Qtpies7, but NO, “exposed breasts” are actually NOT illegal during the act of breastfeeding. Even Michigan law states that. And if this had happened at a Target store in my home state of Illinois, Mary could be filing a law suit and seeking damages for the way they treated her. Ignorant, false statements aren’t helping anybody here.

    Here’s my letter – snail mailed to George himself. http://thefeministbreeder.com/an-open-letter-to-target-regarding-breastfeeding-discrimination/

  32. I had to swallow my contempt for Fox just to rewatch the video. Ugh, sensationalized media kills me.

    This story seems like one more geared at shock reporting and the art of distraction. Rupert Murdoch at his best.

    While I understand the outrage and really I do, what I suggested was not to jump on a entire corporation because of a mistake that happened at one store. I also suggested that the entire story will never be known.

    Mary wrote here that they left on their own. In the taped interview she said they were escorted out.

    I wouldn’t be quick to defend someone just because they nurse. Perhaps they got loud, as was hinted in the story.

    I guess if it was me, rather than start arguing and providing a bad example of how to handle myself to my other children or my spouse, I would have said, I disagree with you, but I’m going to go find a quieter place. And then parked in the snack bar or somewhere. When I was done nursing, I would have certainly stopped to visit with the store manager.

    I’d rather see outrage and action on fighting something more significant than this, like say, the wars? The human traffic nightmare. Genocide.

    Claiming human rights is a bit of a reach and I think taking it way too far.

    Put it in perspective. While it was a bad scene all around, does it deserve this much attention? I don’t think so.

    Nursing is a wonderful thing. I’ve taught classes, been a certified lactation consultant, and been part of La Leche. Why it brings out these emotions in people I don’t know. But, this is exactly why I’m no longer involved with La Leche. And funny enough, most people, once their youngest weans, don’t look back and have other issues that they’re more focused on. And this militant view on breastfeeding fades into the distance.

    It’s been 11 years since I last nursed. While this situation was unfortunate, I don’t see any reason to turn it into a fight any more than ANY SINGLE incident of misfortune.

    Dear Candace, you seem so very angry. And that’s where your message gets lost.

    I used to sponsor a “Lactation Station” for moms as part of my business. It was incredible. Comfy rocking chairs, footstools, quiet, calm lighting. It was for any moms and babies that needed a time out. I would hope that maybe Target can take this incident, put a positive marketing spin on it(which they probably have been having meeting after meeting about after getting all this negative press). Perhaps they will start a trend and other stores, in order to be competitive will follow.

    So, if you must contact Target, do as I suggest and never complain without being willing to be part of the solution. Ask that they provide Mom Dens, Mom Spas, whatever the heck they need to call it, so that we do have a place to go.

    I have seen more acceptance of nursing in the 11 years since I nursed, but I think we have more than our lifetimes to go before this is more accepted. As for me, if I was truly offending someone or making someone else uncomfortable, I would try to change my behavior to accomodate their needs. Sort of meet them half way so to speak.

    I think more of that all around would make for a much better place to live.

  33. Lilibet. I am not angry. I did not get mean or nasty. You are looking for something that is not there.

    I think you are missing the point.

    My point is that EATING is a human right. Isn’t it?

    And there is no need to meet halfway on that.

    People used to be offended by biracial couples. Should they stop holding hands in public? How about gay couples? That offends people.

    The point is that someone taking offense is not, in and of itself, a legitimate argument.

  34. @Lilibet

    One more thought: I am not challenging your own preference for choosing to go somewhere “more quiet” rather than insist upon your rights. I personally believe that no one should have to be a “martyr” lest they be accused of being a “traitor” to a “cause”…especially when their young children are involved.

    However, I am thankful there are women who insist on their rights. Isn’t that how progress is made?

    No offense to those who literally or metaphorically sat at the back of the bus or otherwise accepted the status quo so they could get to work on time/raise their families in peace/work within the system, etc. But history does need those who refuse to back down in order for those ideas to change.

    One of the reasons I breastfed past 6 months, felt comfortable breastfeeding discretely in public, etc., etc., was because of all the activists who calmly, and politely, insist on their rights. They are the ones re-normalizing breastfeeding.

    And until the attitudes you describe as existing in our culture (and the ones seen in the comments section on the article) are gone–yes, women *will* be kicked out of stores for doing nothing more than breastfeeding.

    You argue people should not support someone simply because she is nursing. That is not what happened here. We read a story in which her story seems the most plausible.

  35. Candace,

    I think we need to agree to disagree. Hopefully, we can both agree that everyone having different opinions is what makes this world so great. It’s my way or the highway never works.

    Nursing never used to be such a volatile topic was one of my points. It was just a fact of life. I think modeling THAT point would be best. Peaceful example vs. militant. The second rarely works and really, is this something that has to be fought for? It’s not like the vote, equality for GLTB, or racial equality. It doesn’t even touch on those issues.

    I nurse, no big deal. It’s how I choose to feed my baby. That worked for me.

    I don’t feel the need to make such a big deal about this. I didn’t need to wear shirts that said, “I make milk” or put a bumper sticker on my car that touted La Leche. I worked with far too many mothers (adopted, using surrogates, or having had breast cancer or augmentation that couldn’t nurse and felt extremely guilty about it) to want to blatantly hurt someone’s feelings. And I think when people do, it hurts, rather than benefits the cause.

    I see that Mary has responded and I look forward to reading about it. Quite honestly, I doubt she’s enjoying all the attention and scrutiny.

    Meanwhile, my husband is having surgery today and I’m going to focus my energies there.

    Best wishes to you Candace. My hope for you is that you can find peace within yourself. Reading your comments, and I’m sure you don’t intend to come off this way, but you come across as being very insecure.

    I know nothing about you and you know nothing about me. Perhaps we could finish this conversation privately. I think we might find more in common than you might suspect.

  36. @lilbet – That I come off as “insecure” is your opinion. You are the one swinging criticism around.

    I have no issue with you handling your life the way you wish to. You are the one saying this nursing mother should have handled her experience better.

    You are not agreeing to disagree. You are trying to push YOUR reaction onto everyone else.

  37. Oh, and just for the record, I am not a militant. I am quite conservative. I have also never experienced an issue breastfeeding in public.

    I also do think that a woman’s right to be out in public with her baby *is* a feminist issue. I am not really an activist but yes I do think it is an important issue.

  38. Barebones of what I said in my first post was:

    1. The truth lies somewhere between what Mary and Target says. I find it interesting that people jump to her defence not even knowing her, not even being there, just because she was nursing.
    2. Cut them both some slack
    3. May have been the mistake of a seasonal employee or one with their own agenda

    Mary is quoted in an update that she wants to focus on other things. I think that’s good advice.

    Compromise is a good thing. It gets better results.

  39. I find it kind of funny that people would blame an entire corporation on one isolated incident. I am sure that not every target store or employee feels this way and I am sure they are remorseful. Although they were in the wrong I wish people would show a better ability to forgive. Holding such grudges can be exhausting 🙂

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